Inspiration
Have you been inspired by a musical artist or song?
Please share your story of inspiration.
Kim's Story~ I'm Kim. I've had a love of music for around two years now. I mean, I've always liked music, but around two years ago was the first time I actually bothered to find something I loved in the music world instead of just listening to whatever was on pop radio. I haven't lived the most horrible life or anything, but I've still had quite a few rough patches that music's really helped me through. My story really starts when I was probably five or six, way back in the year o' 1997. (I'm fourteen- still young.) A year before, my grandfather had died. He was the person I was closest to, and I still miss him terribly. However, at the time, I was only four and didn't really understand death or anything like that, so the fact that he was gone didn't even phase me at the time. (I wouldn't really understand what had happened until I was ten or eleven.) However, I did understand it when my parents told my sister and I that they were seperating. They filed for divorce, and are living peacefully apart. My father has remarried and I have a stepbrother, stepsister, and stepmother now. At the time, though, I was miserable. I couldn't comprehend why my parents didn't get along and why my dad was leaving and I couldn't see him every day like I used to. We'd still see him a lot, but it just wasn't the same. The divorce was a miserable time and left a scar on my life. So then comes the next year, 1998. My mother moved into a new, smaller house, and my father got remarried. We were still getting used to the schedule and going from my dad's house to my mom's house. I still felt sad and angry about the divorce. (Not to say I wasn't a happy child- I just still harbored the feelings from what had happened the year before.) This was the year a very special song came out- Iris. I don't know how I remember this, but through the years after I had fleeting memories of John's voice singing, "When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am," and hearing the song everyone in a while. I even remember the first time I heard it- I'm not sure why. I remember asking my family who sang it and trying to sing it. I never knew who performed it until seven years later, in 2005. So let's fastforward a little bit, to when I'm in fourth grade. I've stopped doing longterm projects, starting to do badly in school. (I wouldn't have straight As on my report card from fourth grade to eighth grade because I stopped caring about such things as homework and not trying hard enough. I was rather apathetic about school.) My dad has forced me to go to my room to work on a book report that I really don't want to do. I feel tired and stressed out over the stupid thing (which is really my fault). I turn the radio-alarm clock in my room on so I have something fun to listen to while I work. It's on a pop station... After a few happy poppy songs, Iris comes on. I begin singing it because I remember it so well just from hearing it and break down crying in the middle of the first chorus. That song touched me when I felt stressed and angry at myself for getting my father mad at me. Again, let's go forward in my life. When I was twelve, in sixth grade, I became depressed. That's way way way too early. I was doing badly in school, I was a preteen and starting to change physically, mentally, and emotionally, my hormones were bouncing around all over the place, I couldn't get along with my parents or my sister... I felt like my life was falling apart, spinning out of control. Around Christmas time 2003, I wanted to die. I had plans to kill myself, I was so miserable. One day, when I was the only one at home, I took a knife from the kitchen. I almost slit my wrists. I had the TV turned on to a station that was playing music... again, Iris was playing. I had the knife to my wrist, but I started thinking... I scared myself out of it and that day, prayed to God to keep me alive and healthy and to help me to never have these thoughts again. I've grown up in a Christian home and I've gone to church all my life, but I was just kind of going through the motions unti l then. That was the first prayer I prayed with all sincerity faith. The next year, 2004, brought seventh grade... this was when I first started really getting into music. I bought Avril LaVigne's new CD (I'd gotten the first as a birthday gift in 2002) and started to really feel a connection to her music I'd never felt before except with Iris. (And I'd forgotten about those moments with Iris. I think I just tried not to think about them because I didn't want to look like a baby and cry or anything.) I especially loved 'Slipped Away', which she'd written about her grandfather who'd died. I didn't learn the story until later, but it still hit me and even harder when I found out what it was about- I'd associated it with my grandfather who'd passed away years before. I still miss him terribly and wish he was around. I also heard Broadway and Here is Gone by the Goo Goo Dolls on the radio a few times. I thought Here is Gone was a pretty song, and Broadway hit hard because I felt like it was describing my falling-apart home life- I was constantly arguing with my mother, I felt ignored and unwanted at both houses, and held a lot of anger toward my parents. I wanted to hear the song again. I also heard all the Goos' other hits over the years- touched at the time but I couldn't remember them after I'd heard them. In 2005, my love of music and my CD collection really grew. I heard of a new band called Fall Out Boy- after a few months of avoiding it, I listened to their hit, 'Sugar We're Goin' Down', then heard another song and decided to buy their new album (they'd already put out three others and had been around for five years- but I didn't know that at the time, and mainstream radio had just picked them up). I felt a deep connection with every song, and loved them from the start. I also started to get into other bands, such as My Chemical Romance, that also had songs about suicide and depression- which I hadn't majorly dealt with in a while but was starting to slip back into. I just started getting into more music in general, and I started listening to music for both content and sound- if it sounded great and I could connect with the lyrics, I immediately fell in love with it. My father gave me a love of older rock, folk rock and bluegrass, everything from the Beatles and Led Zep pelin to Bela Flak and the Flektones to the Kingston Trio and the Limelighters. He and I are music nuts and he has gotten me into a lot of older bands and musicians that I now like and love. One night in September of 2005, I had a few friends over for a sleepover. One brought her CDs... She played the City of Angels soundtrack and put Iris on repeat. I remembered this song from years past, nearly crying for reasons I couldn't remember. I asked who performed it and another friend told me that it was the Goo Goo Dolls. I thanked her happily and wrote it down so I wouldn't forget. The next day, I went online and found the Goos' official website, Myspace, and a webpage with facts about a few of their songs. I listened to Black Balloon, Iris, Slide, their other hits- each time saying amazedly, "They did that one, too?" Each song struck a chord with me, especially Black Balloon at the time, and I had to find out more. I searched the web and found the videos to all the songs I had come to know as theirs that I'd heard over the years. I read the background of the band and John's history- which touched me and inspired me. I went out to find their CDs one day in November, and found Ego, Art, Opinion, and Commerce, the collection of twenty-two songs from the six studio albums released before Gutterflower came out. I was amazed by the beauty of these songs, and loved Robby's voice from the start. However, hearing Acoustic #3 put me in tears. I was amazed by the simple and subtle beauty of the songs, and the lyrics touched me and resonated with me somewhere deep inside. I loved the whole CD, but that one song truly touched me. Since then, I've gotten all their CDs except for the first three releases, and I've heard John's music for Treasure Planet (I saw the movie, it's now my favorite). I love all their music, and I've been able to relate to all of it at some point in time or another. I want to be able to inspire others in the way they've inspired and helped me some day.
